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as rain is stopping all types of play today and i'm sat here pondering stuff. I was having a rummage through the cupboard and remembered i bought one of these...

info here Newest V54 FGTech Galletto 4 Master BDM-Tricore-OBD Function

i didn't buy it from there but it gives a good summary of what it can do...

i have a software file which gives the S5 a stage 1 remap...., got to be worth an attempt to screw up the ecu in an attempt to give a (very) little bump in bhp...!!!

 

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Couple of small jobs ticked off this morning. An end of day phone call from my local Audi dealer said some parts were in. So once the little one was bundled off to nursery this morning saw me tootle off to go pick some stuff up.

They had a lovely looking R8 in the showroom, why do they give you strange looks when you lick the tailpipes?

Anyway.... what did we get?

The eagle eyed amongst you will see a new set of rear rings...

over the last couple of days i have been searching for the dimension for the rings placement on the lid. I found the factory workshop to be useless.... this was the page for the Sportback (my reasoning being that it should be in a similar position, as i couldn't find the Coupe)

the page shows no dimensions anywhere...!!!

So i thought i know, as i'm going into Audi i'll ask to speak with a Tech to see if i can get it off Erwin officially....

I showed the Tech the image, explaining that i know it says Sportback but that i brought the image as an example and that i want dimension "a" for a Coupe.... i clearly said that you should be able to find me the dimension in "Erwin" your Factory Repair Manual... he wanders off, comes back 10 minutes later with a print off for an A4 Avant off Etka and said Etka doesn't give dimensions... I thanked him for his efforts as you cannot argue with stupid....!!!

So a quick Google image search with the rear views of various A5/S5's scaled the images as i now had a reference size with the new rings and came to the conclusion that 25mm should suffice for dimension "a".....

Armed with some 25mm masking tape i applied a strip to the edge of the lid and measured about twelvty times to determine the panel centre....

and heated the panel up as the adhesive doesn't bond as well in the cold and stuck them on...

insert smiley...!!!

Call it poor materials or just one of those things but this S5 is my third B8 Coupe and all of them have been afflicted with the cord on the filler cap being broken...

simple job to replace and i'm sure in about 2 years time i'lll be replacing this new one as well....

coolant bottle can wait for a warmer day and less time constraints as apparently my daughter can't walk home on her own from nursery...

 

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Another pet hate of mine is those stupid metal valve cap covers... of course the S5 came pre-adorned and vajazzled with the bloody things....

so i popped in to my local FastFuck centre to get 4 plastic flavoured items. They very kindly gave me 4 for free....
Changed the front 2 a breeze....

and the rears are welded tight to the valve stem... this is one of the reasons i loathe these infernal things. Always the simple jobs which escalate into a bigger issue.
The moral of the story kids is just don't vajazzle your valve stems... think of the poor next owner please...!!!

or if you really must adorn them then at the very least apply some molyslip (not copper grease grease) to the threads....

Off to boil the kettle to see if boiling water will shock it, or just to have a cup of coffee and sit pondering why...!!!

 

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Mr Postman very kindly this morning delivered the loom to enable me to convert my halogen rear lights to pre-face lift LED's (the lights are due to be delivered this afternoon according to the tracker).... just need some decent weather....

the instructions say to cut the wire which is to be threaded through from inners to outers and then solder the joint. Don't like that idea so i've ordered the pin depinning tool and will see if i can do it properly....

 

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i defy any true Petrolhead to not get a tinge of excitement knowing they've ordered parts and you see a courier rock up.....

sooooooooooo.... what's in da box..????

oooh shiny....

hmmm not quite

not to worry... SWMBO isn't home so a quick trip to the sink with the garage's finest TFR and a toothbrush later....

all 4 were treated the same.... and the backs all came up like new.

onto the front lenses and were all a bit hazy....

there were a couple of light scratches but thankfully nothing horrendous. They didn't need any wet sanding thank god and armed with the 3 Amigos below....

ended up with far better clarity

and a gratuitous group shot....

I'll do them again once fitted and all working (if the weather breaks???) but will be a hundred times better than currently fitted....

 

[rackingman]

Seems very quiet on this forum these days, where did everyone go?

Still here from time to time but hardly have anything to comment on or anything to contribute.

Hope you are ok...mislaying your mojo is not good.

So......titanium nipples....surely those are a bit hard to chew on?????

 

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Seems very quiet on this forum these days, where did everyone go?

Still here from time to time but hardly have anything to comment on or anything to contribute.

Hope you are ok...mislaying your mojo is not good.

So......titanium nipples....surely those are a bit hard to chew on?????

i totally agree, compared to what the place was like with my previous S5 this time it's a ghost town lol
Life carries on and working on getting the mojo back, hence the build...
i wouldn't suggest chewing on Titanium nipples unless you had teeth like the baddie Jaws in the Bond films

 

[rackingman]

He was in 2 films, but I remember moonraker best, mainly for.....
Doctor Holly Goodhead {!}

Sorry that Roger is in the image as well.....

 

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with the weekend out of the way and family duties done of course today would be raining.....!!!!!!

anyway it being a simple job to fit the lights i thought i'd try them on for size, no wiring or recoding has been done yet.
What did we start with...
original halogen's

they can happily go in the bin... discovered that on the inner lights the brackets which secure the lamps into the boot lid are different between halogen and LED, well the outer one is, the inner is the same. SO armed with part number 8T0945183B and ordered 2of.

much better and no more hazy craziness or cracked lens....

once the brackets have arrived and it stops raining then it's a simple job to finish off but happy to tick that off the list...

 

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noticed another thing to add to the list and now i've seen it it needs changing ASAP.

The front S5 badge is in the wrong spot.... if i'm being really picky i put my 4 rings a tad too high, but i think i can live with that

comparing to my old S5 front i drew a straight line across the bottom of the headlights and datumed the rings...

see where the s5 badge sits....

now the new S5, for a start they didn't even get the damn badge straight lol...

don't get too hung up comparing the 2 images as i didn't scale them to each other. The rings sit centrally to the height of the headlamps, so are only up be a couple of mm's...

but the S5 badge is way off....

 

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it's been an illuminating sort of day today... lights have been finished and coded

and happy to report all coded as needed, with no errors...
whilst i had the laptop connected i also enable the battery meter as that wasn't showing.
Talking of batteries for peace of mind and again to have a starting point, a new battery has been ordered to replace the tired one currently fitted.
When starting it just doesn't inspire confidence, and i want peace of mind as SWMBO will be using the S5 when her A4 goes in for paint.

Coolant has been dropped and flushed out and the new bottle installed

and Mr Postman brought another parcel of joy in the shape of Hel's finest lines...

slowly slowly....

 

[rackingman]

Personally sick and tired of boxes being delivered.....
Currently having a house extended and refitted, handily approximately 276 miles from where we currently live.
Despite the builder getting an email the day before anything is delivered telling him what's about to turn up I get a whatsapp video of the builder opening the boxes, proclaiming "wossisenn??" Then "thas hansum, thasis"

Anyway, I forgive you for your concern over badge location.

Got caught again today levelling up the screws on light switches.
Reception of new potential customer.......apparently if I am that anal I've got the order already

 

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Personally sick and tired of boxes being delivered.....
Currently having a house extended and refitted, handily approximately 276 miles from where we currently live.
Despite the builder getting an email the day before anything is delivered telling him what's about to turn up I get a whatsapp video of the builder opening the boxes, proclaiming "wossisenn??" Then "thas hansum, thasis"

Anyway, I forgive you for your concern over badge location.

Got caught again today levelling up the screws on light switches.
Reception of new potential customer.......apparently if I am that anal I've got the order already

oooh I feel your pain there….

and nothing wrong with all the screws being level on switches and plug sockets, that’s normal isn’t it…?

 

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Another day.... another box (well 2 actually lol)

what's in this box?

ordered yesterday and arrived in less than 24 hours and a 110Ah battery for less than £120 delivered is good in today's market... Very happy and comes with a 4 year guarantee...

ordered from Tanya Batteries

So, onto fitting....

well that's not good, certainly shouldn't be any water in there, the rest of the detritus i'd expect... I don't know whether the water is from a past event or if we've a leak... time will tell

Of course it's under the battery as well as we need the floor to rust out...

all the water has been absorbed and got with the wet vac and then attacked with a hot air gun to dry it all out. All loose detritus has been hoovered up and a quick spray of wax in the seams and a thorough wipe over...

much better, something else to monitor lol

New battery was fitted without issue, a quick recoding to tell the car a new battery has been fitted and she starts on the button as i'd expect her too...

box 2 was nothing more exciting than some new brake fluid to go with yesterday's line...

and then it started snowing so still no time to get the seats removed...

 

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well with a bit of dry weather and a spare day i thought i'd have a look at the scuttle drains....

well that's not good, wonder what the other sides like?

feck...!!!

probably the worst Audi i have ever owned, i'd say that it's at least 5 years since anyone last looked in here. Under the leaves was about 3 inches of rotten old leaves and crud and it was solid...

attacked with TFR and a hose and dug it all out and made sure all the drains ran free, the worst bit was under the brake servo as access is very minimal.

3 hours later and much better...

inspect your drains people…!!!

and these were consigned to the bin....

happy to say that there were actually to the correct tightness and not hammered in...!!!

 

[TonyP]

I hoover and clean those out 2-3 times a year. Stupid design how leaves get in there

 

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I hoover and clean those out 2-3 times a year. Stupid design how leaves get in there

it’s been like that on Audi’s since the dawn of time, crud always accumulates in the scuttle.
It’s a good regime to get into, it takes but a short time to maintain, but left unchecked it’s disastrous….!!!
Once the drains clog the area fills with water then whatever crud is in there breaks down and turns to mud and in turn then starts to hold moisture which causes all manner of issues.

 

[rackingman]

It may be leaves, detritus and crud to you but that's natural insulation. You will now be using 0.00000000000000000000000000000001 percent more fuel to maintain cockpit temperature.
Extinction rebellion have your address and are coming round to glue themselves to your car. Just make sure they are spaced out equally.

 

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It may be leaves, detritus and crud to you but that's natural insulation. You will now be using 0.00000000000000000000000000000001 percent more fuel to maintain cockpit temperature.
Extinction rebellion have your address and are coming round to glue themselves to your car. Just make sure they are spaced out equally.

as long as they are female aged 25-35 and fit they can glue their hands down at their pleasure…. 🤣

 

[rackingman]

Fat chance,

It's Gerald and Algernon on their way round.....but it won't be till after 10 tomorrow coz they can't use their bus passes til 9.30